The Politics of: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs.
No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage
in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is
no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the
wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and
will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal
with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of
the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to
cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes
and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had
a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Logged
