my Dad recently dxed with Alzheimers and been a tough couple of months.
I've always thought myself a strong person, but I'm falling apart.
He's had some issues the past year but a "medical" procedure that should never have been done on him, then the drs office having him drive to St. Clares (ellis) while bleeding, than a stay at Ellis on Nott, well since then everything has gone downhill.
My Dad always so independent, so strong.
Try to explain to him he hasn't paid his bills, etc etc. and he gets upset and angry.
I'm sorry RP. Hang in there and hope for the best.
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness. John Kenneth Galbraith
That's terrible, and there's no easy way around it, Alzheimer's is a terrible disease. Remember who he was not who he is, and when he is having a good day, bring up the good times and you can still enjoy them together.
George Amedore & Christian Klueg for NYS Senate 2016 Pete Vroman for State Assembly 2016[/size][/color]
"For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest that is sleeping in the unplowed ground." Lyndon Baines Johnson
it is very difficult to take care of someone who loses day by day the things we spend a lifetime 'perfecting' from the day we are born..... you can't reteach him, you just have to do for him and he feels like you're interfering (but not really), he's more annoyed at himself for not being adept at what he has done countless times with ease throughout his life.
he may not be able to communicate in the way you are used to understanding but he will understand the 'feeling' of the impression you are trying to have him understand. It's kind of like a blind person feeling their environment to communicate/understand.
taking care of people with dementia is not an exact science nor is it perfect. There will be 'experts' but there is no black and white answer. never lose faith in yourself to do what is right by him, what ever that may be. Don't let anyone tell you it's not enough or that you're wrong.
Just remember to take care of yourself or you can't take care of him. Get a support group, I've heard it helps and I've seen it help. 'Experts' offer some interventions but the rubber meets the road with your own support group.
...you are a product of your environment, your environment is a product of your priorities, your priorities are a product of you......
The replacement of morality and conscience with law produces a deadly paradox.
STOP BEING GOOD DEMOCRATS---STOP BEING GOOD REPUBLICANS--START BEING GOOD AMERICANS
Wow, good advice, senders. rp, keep in mind that you are only human and can't perfect the situation. It isn't good and can't be made good, by you or anyone. Your Dad is that much better off because you are standing by him, don't beat yourself up. Take care.
It is very difficult to go through this. Its hard to stay strong for the ones that used to be strong for you. You do need to attend support groups and get help with his care. You may be able to care for him physically but its going to destroyyou mentally and emotionally. Please get the assistance you NEED so you can just spend time with him. Sends good vibes and prayers.
thanks again everyone. Actually the end of todays NASCAR race took my mind off my troubles for awhile : )
Yep, that would do it. That was something!
I agree with comments about caregiver support groups. Seek advice from others in the same situation. Is he still living alone? Or living with you? If you are doing most of the caregiving yourself, you really need to seek respite services and don't feel guilty about doing that, especially if other family is not doing their share, or not local.
But also, is he at a stage where he could/should be in assisted living.
It's sad when siblings avoid the one who is ill, it may be that it's difficult for them to see their brother going through something, sometimes it makes them realize they themselves aren't as young as they thought and that's scary too, some don't know what to say, especially if one can't carry on conversation. Then siblings usually are married, each with their own family units often precluding involvement/care for the ill sibling. Also, children are probably more dedicated to their parents than siblings to each other.
So seek caregiver support, seek respite services (legit, honest, and reliable), and consider what is best at various stages and how to keep him safe, even if that means taking away car keys, etc. (I can't help but think of news reports from time to time about elderly who are missing, i.e., left their house because of not realizing what they are doing).
Thoughts and prayers out to you
Optimists close their eyes and pretend problems are non existent. Better to have open eyes, see the truths, acknowledge the negatives, and speak up for the people rather than the politicos and their rich cronies.
my Dad recently dxed with Alzheimers and been a tough couple of months.
I've always thought myself a strong person, but I'm falling apart.
He's had some issues the past year but a "medical" procedure that should never have been done on him, then the drs office having him drive to St. Clares (ellis) while bleeding, than a stay at Ellis on Nott, well since then everything has gone downhill.
My Dad always so independent, so strong.
Try to explain to him he hasn't paid his bills, etc etc. and he gets upset and angry.
And I know he knows something is terribly wrong.
And my heart is breaking.
My mom went downhill after her open heart surgery. We went through the same thing. I don't think I handled it very well in the beginning. No, I know I didn't. It took me a long time to get a grasp on the situation and then eventually came to an understanding of this process. My mom is almost 90 years old now and lives in a nursing home. I'm grateful she is still with us, and grateful for the support I get from the nursing home. They are a great support group for me. And they take excellent care of my mom. I would be lying if I said that it gets better, because it doesn't. But you eventually will find peace in this process. God Bless you!
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