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"We need to let those who will come in the future to represent us
[know] that we are serious. The 2nd amendment means nothing unless
those in power believe you would have no problem
simply walking up and shooting them if they got too far out of line
and stopped responding as representatives.
It seems that we are unable to muster that belief in any of our representatives
on a state or federal level, but we have to have something, something costly,
something that they will fear that we will use if they step out of line."

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Mother Jones obtained details of an upcoming Koch brothers retreat where they
"will unveil a new plan to recruit and train political candidates who will advance their
free-market worldview. Another priority is improving the conservative movement's
outreach to 'growing demographics' such as Latinos, young people, and women."

"Another big item on the Kochs' agenda is a long-awaited post-mortem on last year's
elections. Charles Koch announced in December that he was pushing back the winter
retreat from January to late April so that an internal review of his circle's election
strategies could be completed."

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Jones — whose site has peddled conspiracy theories about the Boston Marathon bombing
and suggested that Tsarnaev is innocent — conceded that Tsarnaev "may have actually been a listener."
"He could be a listener," Jones said. "It could be true. I've talked to the family and most of them
are listeners. My show is anti-terrorism and my show exposes that most of the events we've seen
have been provocateured."

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"In three of the last four non-presidential elections, Republicans actually nominated
Latinos for statewide office: Ruben Barrales for controller in 1998, Gary Mendoza for insurance
commissioner in 2002 and Maldonado for lieutenant governor in 2010. All three were attractive,
articulate candidates with compelling personal stories. But all three went down in flames,
receiving an average of only 37.9% of the vote. And there is no indication in post-election
analyses that they received any meaningfully higher share of the Latino vote than a white
male GOP candidate would have gotten. In fact, the last Republican Latino statewide
officeholder was elected 142 years ago, when Romualdo Pacheco won the lieutenant
governorship in 1871, then served several months as governor in 1875."

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CHARLESTON, S.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s
stunning upset in a special congressional election on Tuesday served as an inspiration to liars across
the state and beyond, prominent members of the lying community said tonight.

“In America, liars are always made to feel bad about ourselves, as if what we’re doing is wrong,”
said Harland Dorrinson, fifty-seven, a liar from suburban Charleston:
“Mark Sanford’s victory tonight is a victory for the lying lifestyle.”

Carol Foyler, thirty-six, a liar from Myrtle Beach, echoed those sentiments: “For the millions of
dishonest children across America, tonight Mark Sanford has given them hope that someday,
they can be somebody.”

At his victory rally in Charleston, the former governor acknowledged the liars in the audience and
said that his victory sent an important message: “Every lie, no matter how big or small, has value.”

“As your Governor, I abused your trust. And as God is my witness, as your
congressman, I will abuse it again,” he said, to thunderous applause.

Mr. Sanford, who had been behind in the polls in the waning weeks of the race, owed much of his
last-minute surge to the support of the lying community, exit polls showed.

According to those exit polls, Mr. Sanford held a three-to-one lead among voters who described
themselves as liars, cheaters, or sleazebags.

Furthermore, the polls showed, those same voters felt that Mr. Sanford’s opponent, Elizabeth
Colbert Busch, did not have the lying experience necessary to serve in Congress.