I found a few pictures from The Creation museum.
I swear, I did not photo shop, or alter these in any way.
If you ever wonder why people make fun of the mouth breathers down south consider this:
The State of Kentucky, cut $60million from education, and a week later, gave these imbeciles an $80million grant from the parks dept.
Yes, this is what they actually believe., but worse yet, are forcing innocent children to believe.
The rest of the gallery may be seen in the link below.
So here we have creationist history.
The universe and mankind was created 10,000 years ago.
Adam had 2 spouses, Methuselah(one of Adam's inbred descendants), was born 200 years before Adam died.
The Ark was built and life on Earth was destroyed approx. 769 years after Adam died.
Since Methuselah was the longest living human ever, let's say Adam lived at least 500 years.
Was Methuselah, one of Adam's direct children? Likely not
OK, now the flood happens approx. 2,000 years after creation.(not to be confused with the big bang theory)
Conventional Christian wisdom tells us 8 humans went on the ark. Noah, his wife, his son's Shem, Ham, Japheth and their wives
Some of them were the chosen Jews from which the savior would descend.
They were chosen by having the breath of life within them.
This leads to the obvious question. Where did non-Jews come from?
God has now killed all land seas and flying creatures including all the humans of the Earth, with the flood.
Next obvious question. What did the ark inhabitants eat for 7 months?
So the water dries up and God tells Noah to populate the Earth with the ark inhabitants.
Noah then builds an altar, and cooks one of every clean animal, bird, etc. as an offering to God who was extremely happy.
God Says:
Every animal that is on the earth will be afraid of you. Every bird that flies in the air will be afraid of you. All animals that crawl will be afraid of you. All the fish in the sea will be afraid of you. I have given them all to you. All that moves and lives shall be food for you. I gave the green plants to you as food. Now I give everything to you. But you must not eat meat while it is alive. You must not eat it while the blood is in it. If you spill blood, I will require a punishment. Every animal or man who kills a person must die. If anyone kills his brother, he must die. If anyone kills a man, a man shall kill him. This is because God made men as images of himself. And you must have large families and you must increase. Have many children and fill the earth.’
So now the Earth gets populated with dinosaurs, plants, animals and the chosen Jews who somehow became unchosen for marrying outside of the only living family on Earth.
This all took place around the year 2,000 after creation.
Then these geniuses ate drank, pillaged, incestuously mass reproduced themselves, started wars, killed each other built empires etc and along comes Jesus 6,000 years later.
Jesus being a left wing liberal said that man shouldn't kill man, his father, the Big G, didn't mean it when he said man should kill man who kills man. At the time of Jesus, the chosen Jews were still a small tribe. Where the hell did the other 6 billion people come from in the next 2,000 years?
Did dinosaur meat contain viagra?
Amazingly after Jesus the world became non-flat and the world became a capitalistic based society that killed for property and possessions. Inventing weapons of mass destruction became priorities. Creating laws, rules and reasons to kill, imprison, torture and cut the hands off of offenders, became the way of the world.
Jesus Christ's teachings became the Christian religion.
His words of thou shall not kill were translated into "* without just cause"
Coveting possessions and neighbors wives becomes the Christian normal every day behavior.
False Gods, material possessions etc.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and give God and Jesus performance evaluations.
God -
10 for creating reality
2 for being a crappy landlord.
1 for demanding death for death for death.
0 for never really having or expressing any good intentions other than obey or be punished.
Now for Jesus -
10 for having good ideas
10 for dying for the sins of everyone else
2 for failing to actually get anyone to do what he asked.
0 for adding the clause of "confess your sins before death and all is forgiven."
I'm probably facing fire and brimstone for this, even after accepting Baptism, Communion, Confirmation and Marriage, but I just have to say that God and Jesus were complete and utter failures.
The world they allegedly created and managed has turned to Hell on Earth with hellish dictatorships, torture, wars, mass murder, laws and regulations miles deep, and everyone against each other in a never ending battle for women, possessions, property and control of others.
If this was deliberate creationism, it was insanity at best.
The big bang, environmental based evolution and random mutations would be a more likely blame to all of this that exists today.
Blaming an all knowing creator for creating madness is not reality based.
People who thank God for creating what we call civilization are ignorant.
OK, bring on the lightning bolts. Come to my house with the pitchforks and torches.