The media have finally been rescued from the dreary expectation of unbiased reporting and the Herculean effort of critical thinking. More Willy Wonka than Abe Lincoln, Barack Obama has benevolently transported them into his utopian candy land, where, half asleep, they lie in a bed of gumdrop flowers on the bank of a meandering chocolate river, dreamily contemplating their new purpose in life: Making sure the Wonka bars are properly wrapped, and have just the right amount of sweetness, for eager and rapid public consumption. So shines a free press in a weary world. Obama’s latest confection is the economic stimulus plan. Although “economic stimulus” is printed on the package, underneath the tin foil is a smorgasbord of liberal everlasting gobstoppers that, once placed into the mouth, will never melt away. Golden tickets in hand, deserving Americans giddily wait for the treacly fantasy (paid in full by undeserving Americans) to begin. Grown-ups are left to wonder about the health implications of switching from the traditional food groups (hard work, personal responsibility, and self-reliance) to pixie sticks and razzles. And the Oompa-Loompa mainstream media puts a little more shoulder into hefting the latest sack of candy-coated constitutional decay onto the shelf.